Wednesday, February 4, 2009

For the love of the long pause.

I have nothing creative, witty, eloquent or profound to talk about. Not that I have in the past, but I surely do not right now.

I am in a funk. A downright diiirty funk. I don't want to be awake, I cannot sleep, I want to call in to work every single day (however, I do not.) I'm not depressed. No, no, no. I'm just in a funk. I know why, but I feel like there is nothing I can do about it.

Do you ever wonder if you fixed that "one" thing that was all wrong in your life if your new life would truly be better or would you just find a new "one" thing that wasn't right? I know, that was one long, incorrect sentence...too bad.

I don't want to work at the Playhouse anymore. I truly and whole-heartedly hate it there. I hate it now more than I have ever loved it. There is just so much bad juju* there. It's not that I don't want to work, because I DO. I just don't want to work there. J tells me to leave and find a new job, but I don't know how to do that while still being able to have time for LPPD. I put in a ton of hours from home for the Playhouse that they refuse to pay me for, but I actually only go into the Playhouse 3-4 days a week. This leaves me 2 weekdays and 1-2 weekend days to work on LPPD and I spend many hours into the late evening/early morning working on Playhouse stuff and LPPD stuff. I am tired, drained, and feel like I am going nowhere.

In my dream world (which is obviously blurry at the moment) I just want some chic boutique to say "Oh Lisa, your LPPD products are fabulous and we would like to buy thousands to stock our shelves." PERFECTO! Then I can quit the Playhouse and focus all my energy on doing what I love. Oh yes, I would also have money to pay bills and help support the family. I don't need much. Really, it is far less than most need and I would work hard to earn it. See, I want to work...just on what I love...not on what I hate. Oh boutique owner.....are you out there? Do you have a big bankroll and a desire to invest in me? Lol... if all else fails can't I just win the lottery?

*bad juju - compliements of lj...thank you for finding the right word.

1 comment:

Melissa Kedrowitsch said...

Good luck winning the lottery! I am sorry you are in a funk. I know how you feel. Hopefully when spring comes and you can get a little more sunlight you will feel better. I know it always helps me.